When we got married, many people told us how difficult our
first year would be. Completely and permanently combining your life with
another would bring loads of conflict, fights and annoyances. Thankfully for
us, our first year of marriage was exactly the opposite. It’s been such an
amazing year full of big life changes. Our marriage is not perfect in any sense
of the word, but we have learned to work together, compromise and put each
other first. After working through a long distance relationship for two years
prior, marriage was the biggest blessing, and we have deeply cherished every
moment we’ve had together.
Thinking back on the past year, we remember the advice that
was given to us prior to our wedding day, and we have found many of the words
to be extremely helpful…
Here is what we found to be the best advice:
PRAY TOGETHER
This was one of the top pieces of advice given to us during
pre-marital counseling. Because baseball season is such a crazy, busy time,
growing together spiritually can seem difficult. We can’t always make it to
church together, we aren’t always in the same place, and we don’t always have
the same schedules. But praying together always seems to put us back on the
same page. It allows us an opportunity to connect with each other on a deeper level,
and we are able to thank God, seek His will, and pray for his provision
TOGETHER. Praying together was something we did a little bit throughout our
dating relationship, but there is something so special and different about
praying with your spouse; someone who knows you fully and completely. It’s a beautifully
vulnerable place to go together.
GO TO BED TOGETHER
This was another piece of advice given to us, and we have
tried to stick to it as much as possible. There is something about going to bed
at the same time, reflecting on your day, and sharing your highs and lows with
one another. When schedules get busy, it is easy to breeze through the day
without taking the time out to connect with each other. We could go the entire
day without seeing each other, but when our heads hit the pillow at night, we
are given the opportunity to reflect, vent, confess, and rejoice together. Sometimes
it’s serious talk, and sometimes it’s just joking around and laughing at each
other. Regardless, it’s a special time to reconnect with your most special
companion, and that is something that should happen every day.
OUT SERVE EACH OTHER
“Always try to out serve each other” was something I heard
my parents say a lot when I was growing up. Not because it is a competition,
but because serving one another is a crucial way to express your love for each
other. Service is something in which Jeffrey excels. I have been absolutely
blown away by the way he would drop everything to serve me… Not in a ridiculous,
slave-like way. No, he serves out of a true, sincere heart of love. It’s almost
as if he makes a list of any possible way he could love me through an act of
service, and checks every single one off the list. It’s actually quite amazing,
and I have a lot to learn from him.
DON’T KEEP SCORE
The concept of not keeping score in our marriage was a piece
of advice given to us by my dad during our wedding ceremony. We were blessed to
have my dad marry us, and he spoke to us about how marriage does not have a
scoreboard. There is no keeping score in marriage. This is a tough one to
learn. There is no tally sheet in marriage, so just give up on trying to keep
constant track of each other’s rights and wrongs or who did what. This does not mean burying hurts or pushing
annoyances under the rug. Talk about it, fix it, and move on.
We only have one year down, and we have so much to learn,
but I am excited that I get to do it with such an incredible man. We are so
thankful for the family and friends that have poured so much time, advice, and
prayer into our relationship. We have such amazing people to look up to. One
year down, and many more to go!
Happy Anniversary, Jeffrey. I love you more
than ever!
